she followed loss.
A loss I brushed aside, didn't deal with at the time...I talked myself round - many women have walked this path, suffered this loss, the loss of something they never had, never touched, never held.
But the hopes, the dreams are pulled from you leaving their scars.
We still talk occasionally about those children we never had...3 that never made it to journey this path with us. I can't talk about it without welling up, imagining what life would have been...
...but then, my thoughts flick to this one.
She has brought light...joy.
She is the most adorable, most enchanting.
I cannot imagine life without her.
And so the things we cannot control, the things that we cannot understand...they are changed into something beautiful and maybe the more beautiful because the path has been tinged with sadness, with tears.
Madeleine Martha Ava...
..the one who followed pain.
She holds me, my heart, a piece of me...a captivating beauty, the one who might never have been.
I am so thankful I get to be her mum, to be a part of her life and her a part of mine...to cherish her a while.